A Work in Progress.

So we are now back to reflective weather. It hasn't been that long, I was hoping for a drier fall, but maybe it's a sign I should be reflecting on my life and my actions more? I'll just take that as a yes, and do it anyways. I mean seriously it is pouring outside, I miss summer dresses and tanned skin. I thrive in the summer, and in the winter I want to curl up and sleep. So this year I'm going to do my best to get out of this funk and find something to enjoy about the cold and the rain. Though that doesn't seem very promising at the moment. So what is there to reflect on? I could say life, but that's pretty vague. As of now the thoughts I come up with are watching the words that leave my mouth, to make them as positive as I can at all times. I'm doing better than I have, but just this evening I said something I wish I wouldn't have. It's hard to wish the best for everyone all the time and not talk them down, I'm working on it. I also want to listen more, though I do try to listen a lot. This last week I've talked off the ears of some, and though it was with reason. I want to give back, if even in that small way. I want to care and ask more than just how are you, and not really care about the answer. I really want to know how others are doing and I'm going to do my best to show that. I'm also not the best at showing others how I really feel. Probably because I like to be alone. I like company and friends are great. But I don't mind thriving by myself. Maybe it's an oldest kid kind of thing? Who knows. So sometimes when relationships don't form the way I wish they would have. I don't mind and just let it go. But I need to hold onto relationships, they are the one and only earthly thing the Lord has given me to relate to, to discuss with, to cry with, to smile with. I've been given a great life with others around me, I just need to embrace them more. So join me, and let's work on ourselves. It's rainy outside and all we want to do is cuddle up by the fire with our blankies. But we should also work on our selves in our free time, can you say winter break? Let's love more, give more, and complain less. Though I say this often, we need to remember to check ourselves and our actions regularly.

And today we have a new favorite of mine, that was played in an aired PLL episode, love love.

Sugar & the Hi-Lows- Think I said too much

What the World has Come to.

You know what I don't understand, those who are not believers and the first question they ask me every time they find out I am. And it goes a little like this, "So then why do bad things happen to those around the world, like genocide and tsunami's, and cancer?" This question in their minds seems like a legitimate one that is supposed to stump more or something. In all honestly I find it somewhat ignorant. I feel like no matter how someone believes the earth was created, we should all be in accordance that the earth wasn't filled with nasty toxins as it is now. Therefore the things that we put out into the world create storms and natural disasters. Then they go, " okay yeah I agree with that but, why would God allow those things to happen to his creation." I don't know if anyone can tell but we live in a free world. We can do what we please as we please without too many harmful repercussions. At least, that's what it looks like on a shallow level. Things don't always go our way, but of course non-believers wouldn't blame that on their own sin but instead they would simply say, it happens (well with more cursing). When we live in a free world and we don't believe in a higher power how can we just assume that the God of this world more powerful than imagination would make our lives all honkey-dorey and nothing bad would ever happen. If something is so powerful they make the rules, and honestly the rules are fair. We want a free world, we got one. But with that we can't be protected from all of the evils. It's selfish of us to think that we should be taken care of all the time and believe what we want and do what we want. If that wouldn't fly with your parents as a child, do you really think the Lord of the universe would comply with that? I do not think so. Then the conversation continues to, " Fine I guess that makes sense, but there is still cancer Courtney, how do you explain that?" Sometimes I get to thinking, and I try to come up with the most logical conclusions for the questions I ask myself. But I truly do believe that the things we put out into the world like, chemicals, basically things that are man made not natural. Are the reasons there is sickness in the world. As time goes on we are erode the Earth and all of it's natural pure beauty. So the next time someone tries to test us, and our beliefs let's not just stand up for ourselves. But instead we should be prepared, and have well educated answers for their questions. Though we are on the Lord's team and one day He will prevail. We have to fight the good fight, every day for the rest of our lives.  ( I cannot believe I just wrote good fight, no but seriously, that is not like me at all).

And to address the latest musical matters, today we have...Ed Sheeran and his latest hit                  Give Me Love

Fresh Start.

I'm going to keep this short. But somehow I thought I could just walk away, and get over it. Today was the day I realized I can't. And maybe I'm the queen of vulnerability and heartbreak  Maybe I'm too open and my heart is on my sleeve. Maybe I could pretend you don't exist (This really doesn't work, I've tried. You're everywhere). But recently I decided you weren't a good idea. I still think that was a wise decision. Then I see you in social situations and wait to talk to me, no matter how much I ignore you. It isn't an accident. When I see that you want to talk to me, it hurts. It draws me back in. I'm not going to get over you, unless you leave me alone. As much as it makes no sense for two sensible individuals to be friends. It hurts too much. I can't just be your friend. And I need to leave this in the past. This is my decision. Now I just need to figure out how to convey this to you, before this becomes too toxic.
As always the tv and song clips explain how I feel better than I can say with words...

Taylor Swift- I almost do

Starting at 3:23

That Could've Been Me.

Do you ever have that realization that your life could have gone in a different direction, or you would be a different person today if an event big or small happened. You know those moments when you're completely amazed by what could have been. The reason I bring this up is that I am re-reading a book of mine. Which I do all too often, I'm in dire need of new literature. But sometimes before bed I like to read to help me sleep. And last night sitting there in bed it dawned on me. This book described a situation that could have been a circumstance in my life. And maybe that's what hurts the most, seeing a situation that could have been me and in some way should have been me. It's a scary situation to be reading a book and watching the character in the book react to their situations. And only to realize those emotions those situations are real. Real to so many people in this world, that is their heartbreaking reality. And you realize you are apart of that. And then we ask ourselves why it wasn't us, there are some in this world that ask why me. But I feel sometimes it is more important to realize that could've been you, you could have been the one suffering tremendously and you aren't. And then it's important for us to realize that there is a reason that those things didn't happen to us, and we need to remember to be simply thankful that we were given a better situation. We are all so blessed and I think we forget that all the time, everyday. Our lives could have taken a drastic turn, those people in our lives in their situations that could have been us. Sometimes it's hard for me to not dwell on how that could have been me but to simply just be thankful. The could have's aren't real. Once we recognize where we could have been we need to move on to where we actually are. And not where we want to be, what tomorrow will be like. But today, what kind of difference are we making? What are we doing with our time? Would we be proud if our lives ended at this moment, with our current actions and activities. The more we remember those questions, the more our lives can glorify the Lord.

Taylor Swift- The Moment I Knew

(This is a song from Red on the deluxe album, this is the saddest song of her 21st birthday party, seriously heartbreaking. But very relatable and beautiful).

National Taylor Swift Week.

This week has been all that I hoped it would be. I may not have ordered a papa john's taylor pizza, or bought a red t-shirt, or even red keds. But her sad and poetic songs have completely made my week. They are completely heartfelt and beautiful. I've listened to the album so many times and found my favorites and the things that I'm not in love with. But it's been a taylor filled week, my kind of week. I've watched all of her interviews and cannot get enough. On a side note I need need her dresses. It's been a great experience so far, and I can't wait to listen to all of the songs till I can't take it any longer. So don't mind me while I'm lost in taylor thoughts. But you can definitely join me! To start you off here are my song reviews for RED. Enjoy!

Album Review

-State of Grace: This song shows how a boy had changed Taylor, as many boys who’ve come into our lives have changed us. This song describes the exciting beginnings of love, and youthful love. It’s exciting, thrilling, and everything we’ve ever wanted. Favorite Line: I never saw you coming, and I’ll never be the same

-Red: I love the metaphors Taylor uses. You go girl! She describes fall amazingly. She combines colors with emotions. And that is pretty great. This song is very creative and heartfelt. It explains everything we feel when boys are in our lives and the pain they leave behind when they go. Favorite Line: Forgetting him was like trying to know someone you’ve never met.

-Treacherous: This has a sweet and soft sound, very cute. I love the instrumentals in this one. And it’s about the beginning of falling for someone, and it’s crazy but she likes it. Don’t we all? Favorite Line: I can’t decide if it’s a choice getting swept away

- I Knew You Were Trouble. : I know why this song can be annoying, house beats. I mean who are we kidding, it’s a bit strange. Putting that aside, I respect the message of a song. Being used sucks, liking bad boys always ends horribly. And they just move on from us to another. I enjoy songs like this so we can get our frustration out, and hopefully we learn a lesson that bad boys should just be forgotten. Favorite Line: And he’s long gone when he’s next to me and I realize the blame is on me

-All Too Well: This song is beautifully heartbroken; I wish my emotions sounded this nice. I love this song because it’s slow with a good beat, and not annoying and “poppy”. It even describes her relationship with his mother and sister, I love that. Favorite Line: But you keep my old scarf from that very first week cause it reminds you of innocence and smells like me

-22: This is the song you want to scream with your girlfriends in the car, on a warm summer night. I love how fun this is, I just want to grab my gals and sing it! That sounded so cheesy, but knowing me I’m completely serious. I lovelovelove this. Favorite Line: Yeah we’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It’s miserable and magical

-I Almost Do: This song describes the way I feel about the whole “him” situation, the one that shall remain nameless. But past that, I love it. Not wanting to get hurt by a guy again so we stay away even though, they are reaching out as a changed guy. We are still afraid. Real and raw emotions people. Favorite Line: It takes everything in me not to call you and I wish I could run to you and I hope that you know every time I don’t I almost do

- We are Never Ever Getting Back Together: I understand how this song seems ridiculously annoying. But you’ll get to the point where you love to sing it to yourself. So obviously it’s about getting back together with an ex again and again. But I think it’s deeper than that, it’s a message to your heart to get over it and move on from the hurt. Favorite Line: And you would hide away and find your peace of mind with some indie record that’s much cooler than mine

-Stay Stay Stay: This song has the cutest vibe, with the best acoustics. And it isn’t about her pleading for a boy to stay. It’s about a relationship that has its ups and downs, but it’s not a begging song.  She describes how he understands her, and she just loves spending time with him. Favorite Line: You took the time to memorize my fears my hopes and dreams

-The Last Time:  The lead singer of Snow Patrol did this duet with Taylor. I love love his voice, its Matt Kearny like. It’s beautiful and slow. Then it builds up to complete amazingness. The sound is entrancing, I like it I love it. The song is two lovers singing to each other breaking up, I’m a fan. Favorite Line: Just like all those times before you wear your best apology

-Holy Ground: This has such a fun sound. The drums are explosive. I feel like you can get so lost in the sound and forget the lyrics. But don’t because they are beautiful and they tell a great story. Favorite Line: Spinning like a girl in a brand new dress, we had this big wide city to ourselves

-Sad Beautiful Tragic: The intro starts just as the words describe completely beautiful acoustics. I love the slow pace and meaningful lyrics. Very heartfelt and heartbreaking, but not in a whining way. Favorite Line: Good girls, hopeful they’ll be and long they will wait

-The Lucky One: I’ve heard her do a sound like this before, and loved it then and love it now. Still slow but with upbeat drums. This song really caught my attention; I believe it really tells a story. About some old famous person who decided to leave the spotlight. And Taylor understands and gets why. I love the meaning, old stories are my favorites. Favorite Line: And they still tell that legend of how you disappeared how you took the money your dignity and got the hell out

-Everything has Changed: Love Ed Sheeran, so I've gotta love this. It’s a good duet. And a song with a simple message, she saw this guy he held open the door she got his name and that was all. Story of all our lives. We see guys and then picture our whole lives together. Very relatable. Favorite Line: All I know is a simple name everything has changed

-Starlight: I knew this song was about an old grandma, but what I didn't know was that it was written about Connor Kennedy’s (Boyfriend) grandmother Ethel Kennedy. I love that is isn't about a boy, I love that it is about Ethel’s love story when she was young. So vintage. Favorite Line: I met bobby on the boardwalk summer of ’45 picked me up late one night out the window we were seventeen and crazy, running wild wild

-Begin Again: From the first moment I heard this I knew it would be my personal favorite. And since it’s track number 16 it’s quite fitting. This is simple and descriptive. Very cute and sincere. It’s my absolute favorite from beginning to end, just lovely. Favorite Line: Turn the lock and put my headphones on he always said he didn't get this song, but I do

And here is the Begin Again video (LOVE)

Obsessions.

My LDR obsession is far from out of season. I cannot stop she is crazy, crazy amazing that is.
Her new album comes out in November, and here is a sneak peak of some of the love she is going to share with us.

Lana Del Rey- Blue Velvet

Lana Del Rey- Ride

And if you thought that Ke$ha was gone for good, you were mistaken. She has an album coming out in December. And has been interviewed about the album saying, that she has taken a different approach to this album it isn't just about getting drunk but actual things that have gone on in her life. But not to worry she still has some party songs in store, she promises. baha.

Ke$ha- Die Young

Yet I still love her, I'm even convinced I'm insane.

And of course my Taylor Swift update is a week late, but no I'm not uploading her song. Because you'll have mean comments so I won't. It has some dance house beats in the background, so people start complaining how she isn't country and her lyrics are stupid. All I have to say to that is shut up. Seriously we consider ourselves to be more or less good people but then we put others down?!?! You're kidding me right. We think her songs aren't mature enough? I forgot how educated we are about the subject of love. Here's my message to all of us if we don't have anything nice to say, then DON'T SAY IT AT ALL. It's rude, no matter who we talk about.

But seriously.

The Latest and Greatest.

I'll start this off with some abstract thoughts I have been having lately. Some thoughts brought on by the new songs, and some from the day to day lives we lead. These Taylor Swift songs have got me thinking, I mean don't they always? The first song off her record 'Red' called We are Never Ever Getting Back Together, which was the fun song off the album that was honestly a joke and the one thing we wish we would have said to the boy(s) who screwed us over repeatedly. I mean seriously, I wish I could have screamed this at a few boys. The song that was released last week was called Begin Again. So far this is my favorite for this album. Basically this song starts where the other ended. It's been eight months and she is trying to date again. She is scared and is still trying to forget her past with her ex. This is probably the story of my life. It is also very sweet in the way this relationship begins again on a Wednesday in a cafe. Basically my dream date. But my words don't do the song justice, so just sit back and listen.

Today the third single was released and it is the albums title song 'Red". This song describes the love she felt for this boy and then the heartbreak or losing him. This song has such beautiful, heartfelt, passionate lyrics. And describes the emotions we go through when we are falling for someone and having to get over them. What I love about this album, (that is coming out October 22nd! I'm just a tad excited) is the meaning behind all of it. It's about the color red. Which for Taylor describes all of the emotions we experience in relationships. But I like to take it a step further, red can describe the emotions we experience in all of our relationships. When we are angry, when we are loving and kind, I believe red can even describe the pain we experience.

And this album has got me thinking, have I been as loving to others as I could be? Have I been as caring as I think I am? So my goal for myself and for all of us consists of the simplest promise to ourselves. To remember in all social situations to show my red caring emotions to everyone. I am going to try and be that one positive person you wish would just shut up and come back down to reality. But truthfully we have no reason not to love everyone and all things around us. So let's be kind when we are tired, let's listen when we are busy, let's hang out when we have no time, and let's love with everything we have to give and love some more. Wishing you all the best, with love.